U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
