How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
