Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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