You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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