i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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