3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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