i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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