so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
