wrigley field is MILF paradise
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
