Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize