don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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