Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
