Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
