Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
