yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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