apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
