is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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