So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
