they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
