the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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