Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
