plz talk dirty to me
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
try to milk me bitch
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