The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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