Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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