I'm so fucking centered right now
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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