wakey wakey hands off snakey
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
