i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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