My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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