How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize