Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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