all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
