I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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