i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize