I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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