They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize