he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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