Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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