covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize