I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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