Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
