i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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