im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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