Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
