P.S. I can't hear my feet
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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