We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
