its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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