I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
