I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
