Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
