i'm signing you up for texting rehab
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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