Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize