Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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