She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize