Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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