Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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