his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
