Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
