Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
