id be glad to
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
