therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it's like iHOP with fire
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
