mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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