the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Enjoy the penises
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
